12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
