My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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