My hand turned me down
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I didn't notice because vodka
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
