Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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