Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
