I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
