Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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