What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
did i just pee glitter
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
