I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
