You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
