why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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