what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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