Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm too high and old for this...
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