If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
