Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
