Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize