consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
