I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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