No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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