i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
