you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
