3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
