Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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