just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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