he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
