I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
