mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
