Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
