how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
