you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
