i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
