I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
