Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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