Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
false alarm, still single
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