Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i barfeds in our rink
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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