My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
