your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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