i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
