I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
