never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize