Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
