HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
