My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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