Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
