I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
