David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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