Sry I called you an 8
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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