wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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