her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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