we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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