I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So much rum. So many feels.
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