Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Someone shattered a urinal.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
