if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
