it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
