It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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