She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
