marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
