I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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