youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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