I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
