are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
