Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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