I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
