Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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