she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
