I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
