We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
