If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize