haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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