Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
