you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
