piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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