I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
