I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Vodka?
Forever.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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