she was so not down for the gang bang
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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