He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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